Seriously, we’re going to talk about the one thing we feel so incredibly guilty and ashamed of that we might whisper it to our spouse or best friend, but we’ll very quickly follow it up with a Karmic Save Statement such as but of course I don’t mean it…. Then we’ll spend an inordinate amount of time mulling over such a terrible thought that we totally shame ourselves for ever having it.  What kind of person are we?!?!  Do unto others as we would do to ourselves.  Wait – Did I just condemn myself to a similar fate???!!!  SHIT!

The Ex asked if we could watch the 12-year-old for a few days while she went to the hospital.  Never mind the fact that it was technically our visitation week anyways that they’ve refused to comply with… and the fact that the only time we get to see the 12-year-old is when it’s convenient for the Ex such as having friends in town or, in this particular case, needs to seek overnight medical care.

Admission – We felt NOTHING upon receiving this information.  Then felt guilty over the fact that it crossed both our minds in that very moment about how much easier life would be IF…. Cue ominous music – Dun Dunn Duuuuunnnnnn!  I can’t even write it.

So we discussed this “void” of any emotional response with the simple question – “What does someone have to do to illicit absolutely NO compassion whatsoever from another?”  And believe me, we are totally compassionate people.  My husband tears up during Lifetime movies and I’ve had to ban the new Babies show on Netflix as it totally freaked me out watching the baby hippopotamus almost get swept away by the river and the baby seal get nipped at by a hyena.  This is for kids?!

So anyways… our list started out a bit like this…

• She’s alienating and programming her daughter to hate her father… and her daughter has NO idea why she hates dad – she just DOES;

• She regularly makes threats to call “her friends in blue” and “sue for full custody” (she’s an attorney who works for Metro – Abuse of badge much?!);

• She’s playing best friend and lets her daughter do whatever she wants – Even if that includes enabling her daughter to make bad choices that could result in irreparable harm;

• She enables her daughter to either avoid altogether or walk out on dad during his visitation time;

• She lies to her daughter – Convincing her that dad doesn’t do anything nice or buy her anything, when reality proves quite differently;

• She’s convinced her daughter that she has social anxiety and level 1 autism as an excuse for why her daughter doesn’t have to go to school and as to why mom doesn’t have to be a parent and enforce going to school;

• She’s lied to every therapist her daughter has seen, making sessions more about her than her daughter’s needs.  And when each therapist starts to see through mother’s lies, she fires them and forbids her daughter from seeing them… And we’re left trying to get his daughter therapy all over again;

• She aggressively engages in smear campaigns to get everyone on “her side” – In one instance, to the point where a friend’s mother actually asked if his daughter was “safe” at our house;

• She agrees to one thing in front of the therapist/teacher/counselor/judge/etc. to placate and look like she’s the only one trying to resolve issues… Then does whatever she wants and blames the resulting fallout on dad;
• She one-up’s our experiences, then tells her daughter that our experience never happened… So our trip to Knoxberry Farm was reduced to an hour stop-over while driving through town while her trip to Disneyland with mom was an all-week “fast past” trip of perfection.

And this is just the tip of the bitch iceberg…

“Well…” I interrupt our list, desperate to change the subject and enjoy the rest of our rare lunch together.  “At least this proves that her claim that she can’t make her come for visitation is total BS.”

Why yes, yes it does…

And while we had a rare moment (and I do mean moment) with his daughter, within 10 minutes of dad setting the expectation that she would be going to school the next day, mother miraculously healed and was released from the hospital.

Whew!  No lightning… For now…