This post is dedicated to translating some of my step-teen’s go-to verbiage…. Of course, it includes my somewhat sarcastic interpretations.

“You aren’t listening to me” – You’re not giving me what I want right now.

“You NEVER listen to me” – Var. You’re still not caving in and giving me what I want.

“You’re always working and have no time for me” – See Ex-Wife’s complaints

“I need (fill in the blank)…” – Let’s face it, there is nothing this kid needs.  She already has 19 pairs of this particular “need” and they’re probably either at her mother’s house or dirty on her floor.

“No thank you” – I don’t care for this particular option you’re offering so I’ll take a pass and eat candy later rather than dinner now.  (Wow – I’ll dedicate an entire post to this one)

“I just want a snack” – I want candy right now, not something healthy.

“I’ll do it later” – I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of doing it.

“You made me late (or insert excuse)” – I need to place blame on someone other than take responsibility – and you seem to fall for it.

“But you said I could” – This is a crap-shoot people.  They’re hoping we’re so old that we forgot that we said no to something.  Even if it was a maybe – take a hard line on this one because it’s slippery slope.

“Why?” – If this is following a hard “no” – DON’T ENGAGE.  They’re looking for excuses – something they can argue.  Stand solid behind that no… And no, we don’t need an excuse.

“But you do it (insert snippy remark)” – That’s right, because we’re adults and have earned that right – You have not.’’

“But all my friends… (insert what everyone has that she thinks she’s lacking)” – See “Budget” and “If your friend jumped off a cliff…”

“You’re so mean (insert any variation thereof)” – CONGRATULATIONS – You’re an awesome parent!

Feel free to add your own definitions – Would love to see them. Cheers!